If only I had listened to my parents. Yell!!! Scream!! Why??? NO ONE KNEW I WAS THERE!!!!
I was brought up in a home with two parents that loved me deeply. They watched out for me and told me of the people they liked me hanging out with and those they did not care for me to hang out with. (Of course, they were always right). The ones that were 'not so good' for me were the ones I was drawn to.
Moms, Dad, Parents, share my true story with your children. Help them to learn by my mistakes. Teach them to obey those in authority over them. Teenagers and young adults, read my story and learn from it. Don't make the mistakes I made. Obey those in authority over you.
I had a friend in my life at the age of eight that I trusted, if that is what an eight year old child would think of as friendship. She wanted to go on a so-called journey to her 'grandfather's' house. I didn't have a problem with this. All we had to do was go through the forest directly behind my house to get there. It wasn't a far walk, and we wouldn't be gone long so my mother wouldn't worry.
Needless to say, I went where I wasn't suppose to go. I found that the consequences of my actions had a far worse price than I wanted to pay.The man we went to see was NOT my friend's grandfather. He was a child molester, and I was about to be the next child he took advantage of. Yell??? Scream??? ---- Why???? NO ONE KNEW I WAS THERE!!! I was there, despite what I was told. If only I had listened to my parents. Now, I was faced with the consequences of my actions. Those were some harsh consequences to have to face at eight years old for not listening. You think I would have learned my lesson, but as a teenager, things in my life only seemed to get worse. I made my life worse by thinking it was okay, because I had excuses for the way that I was behaving. The only real stability I knew was from my Mom and Dad, who had been together for 20 years. Then they decided to get a divorce. How could this happen? Who was to blame? Who could I turn to? Surely not God. We had all gotten too busy to talk to Him. This day in my life was too much. Too much on me, too much on my Mom and Dad's marriage, and too much on encounter in their life.
I was making great money. I had always thought men were dogs, and those dogs were now paying my bills. Stupid men, married men!!! Men with degrees, men with more money than they knew what to do with. I didn't care how I was getting it. All I cared about was making it on my own. All I had to do is talk to them and give them a little attention, and they gave it to me like water. Yes, people said, 'You don't have any morals to work in a strip club.' But who needed morals? I had more money than they did, and I was only 21. TWENTY-ONE YEARS OLD, a drunk, a whore, a fighter, a women who thought it was okay to treat men like they were a piece of trash, because that is how most men treated women. I was just the revenge on men to most women because I didn't care about them or their feelings. I told them everything they wanted to hear. This went on for many years in my life until one day I woke up and said to myself 'When are you going to make things different?' 'When are you going to change the patterns in your life?' I couldn't go on living this way because by this time, I had two beautiful children. How could I keep destroying their lives? That's when I went to church, and everything changed. I went to a church I had once known as a teen. It was the church my 'first real boyfriend' took me to. Little to my surprise, he was still attending. So was his family, who had at one time opened their hearts and lives to me. Once again, I stepped into church and they all opened their arms to me and were glad to see me. Not only was it good to see that some things never change, it was good to know that someone still had some consistency in their life, after living in this crazy world we live in today. And of course, as always, the pastor was amazing. He seemed to never have a judging bone in his body. He always embraced me with such love and compassion. 'How did he do it?' I always asked myself. 'How could he just keep giving when it felt like there was nothing more to give?'
I found out how. I gave my life to the Lord, and it has been a wonderful, life changing experience. I no longer drink or smoke. I no longer long for men or bars in my life. I long for a deeper love and stronger love no man can ever offer. I long for Jesus Christ and in knowing where I stand with Him. I was able to put my promiscuous past behind me. I was able to put away the hurt of being molested. I was able to put away the fear that all men were dogs and out to hurt me. I was able to put it all under the blood of Jesus. Then God sent me someone I'm very thankful for. That someone is my husband and my best friend under God. The 'first real boyfriend' I had ever had came back. Not because he thought I was beautiful. He was scared to death of my past - my marriage, my children, EVERYTHING!! God let my husband overlook those things once I was new in Christ. The best thing God has ever done for anyone was to give His ONLY son for us to renew our lives. It is never too late! I'm still learning and still growing. I still have to listen to people remind me of my past, but I know God has forgotten it. Is it hard to hear? Yes, sometimes it is. But it's not as hard as it was to live it! I would rather hear it to tell it any day than relive it. God has delivered me. He continues to deliver me and continues to bless me. I couldn't be more thankful. I know God is not done with me yet. He has brought me a long way. I'm so thankful to Him for forgiving me for breaking His heart!!
I pray that you too would ask Him to forgive you for breaking His heart. All He has ever wanted for you and for me is the happiness. The only way you can get that is through Christ. That void will never be filled unless you give it to Him. I'm 28 years old now, and I've never been happier. Do I still endure trials? Of course I do. I'm human. But how I handle them is different. I don't fight with my fist anymore. I'm learning not to fight with my mouth either. God will fight my battles for me. Now, I have the BOOK OF LIFE as a guide and a pastor that helps me to deal with my questions and problems on a spiritual level, not a fleshly one. Trust me when I say the grass isn't always greener on the other side. The crowd you may be with today may not be the crowd there for you tomorrow.
Remember, Jesus Christ is always there not matter what!! No matter what time, no matter what the circumstance, He will be there.
IF ONLY I HAD LISTENED TO MY PARENTS
Dear Reader - are you at peace with God? If not, you can be. Do you know what awaits you when you die? You can have the assurance from God that heaven will be your home, if you would like to be certain. Either Jesus Christ died for yours sins, or He didn't (He did!). Are you prepared to stand before God on the Judgment Day and tell Him that you didn't needthe shed blood of Jesus Christ on the Cross to have your sins forgiven and get in right-standing with God? We plead with you ... please don't make such a tragic mistake.
To get to know God; to be at peace with God; to have your sins forgiven; to make certain heaven will be your home for eternity; to make certain that you are in right-standing with God right now ... please click hereto help understand the importance of being reconciled to God. What you do about being reconciled to God will determine where you will spend eternity, precious one. Your decision to be reconciled to God is the most important decision you'll ever make in this life.
The staff and our ministry supporters so greatly appreciate hearing how God is touching lives for His glory through this outreach. If this ministry has touched you in some special way, would you please consider taking a brief moment and share your blessing with us? It is always encouraging to hear how God is using this ministry to touch lives for His glory through this outreach. Simply email us at: email@example.com
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As I pass all my friends, smiling and shouting "Hi," I think, What could be better than a nice warm day with the wind blowing through my hair? Looking ahead, I notice a big bump. I push my feet backward to brake and shout, "Ouch! I stubbed my toe." I look down and notice a little blood, so I ride to the gas station and run to the bathroom to wash my toe.
"Okay," I assure myself. "That looks much better." Then, out of breath, I hop back on my bike.
I decide to show off my new bike, so I go to my friend Ally's house. The first thing she says is, "Can I ride it?"
She jumps on and takes a quick spin around the block.
"Wow, your bike is really cool!"
"Yeah, I know! Hey, I have an idea. How about one of us gets on the handle bars while the other drives?" I suggest.
Ally nods, "Okay, but I get to drive because I am older."
"Fine, but you have to promise to go slowly and stop when I tell you, okay?"
Ally looks up and says, "Okay, I promise I will!"
I jump on the handlebars and say, "Okay, I'm ready!" As soon as she starts, I can feel the handlebars wobbling from side to side. Wow, this is scary! I think. Why did I ever come up with this stupid idea?
As she picks up speed, I get scared. "Okay, Ally, stop! I want to get off!" She's not listening so I yell "Stop!" She keeps going faster and faster so I decide to jump off. I grab the handlebars and push myself off, and then she stops. My foot gets caught in the spokes and it suddenly has a tingling feeling. I look down and my foot is covered in blood. My pinky toe is on the ground and I am confused for a minute. Then I look up at Ally and shout, "Go get your mom!"
When her mom sees my toe on the ground, she runs back to the house. She brings out a cup of ice and a dishtowel. Carefully she puts it in the cup, and then wraps the towel around my foot. She tells me not to move, and calls my parents. When they arrive, we drive what feels like 100 miles an hour to the hospital. My mom pulls up to the emergency room and slams on the brakes. My dad carries me into the waiting room.
While my dad fills out the paperwork, the nurse takes my mom and me into a dark, cold room. She flashes on the bright lights, and lays me on the hard bed. I'm there for what feels like forever before the door opens. Finally, the doctor comes in and asks me what happened. Then he says, "Okay, I need to talk to your
parents and then we'll fix you
The doctor clears his throat and explains to my parents, "Well, we could sew the toe back on, but there is a good chance her foot will get infected and then we would have to remove it again. Of course, it is your decision to either sew it back on or just sew up her foot." My parents look at me, then at each other.
"Well, we guess you should just sew her foot up and save the trauma of having to come back and remove the toe again," my dad says. The doctor tells them they will have to leave while he sews up my foot. I look at my parents and start to cry.
The whole time I was in the hospital all I could think about was leaving my house and my mom saying, "Put your shoes on before you go." Maybe if I had listened, I would have ten toes instead of nine.
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.