Excuses For Not Doing Homework Funny

A Creative Example

This excuse is especially useful in less populated sections of the country, but variations of it will work anywhere. It's called the Hiker's Dilemma and goes as follows:

You won't believe what happened (your teacher will undoubtedly agree with your opening statement). I was at the library writing my essay on The Declaration of Independence and I got so involved in it that I lost track of time and missed the bus. I stopped off for a bite to eat at Montezuma's cafe and called my Mom for a ride home. She was unable to come, on account of her lupus (the goal is to create sympathy; any disease will do), so I decided to make the long trek home...through the woods. After about an hour of walking and reciting our nation's founding document, Montezuma got his revenge on my stomach. I had no choice but to run behind a bush and squat. I averted one disaster, but my troubles weren't over. I had no toilet paper. I searched through my backpack and all I could find was my essay that I had just written. I struggled for over eight minutes, not knowing what to do. I finally decided to sacrifice the essay. I have it in my locker if you want me to get it. It's pretty disgusting though.........


Swarms of kids line the beaches soaking up the last few rays of the summer sun; parents seem to be in a good mood for once, and the checkout lines at Wal-Mart rival the lines at Olympic sporting events. This can only mean one thing – school is almost in session. Getting back into the swing of things is hard to do, so I’m giving you a free pass. If for some reason you get behind on your homework (which we all know would never happen, right?), I give you permission to use one of these 25 creative excuses for not turning in your homework. Your dog will thank you for not blaming him yet again. Happy learning!

I thought it was a letter and accidentally mailed it to my Grandma Maude overseas.

Aliens took it as a sample of human handwriting.

Buffalo Bill from “The Silence of the Lambs” mistook it for a piece of human flesh and stole it to add to his collection.

I let somebody copy it and they never gave it back.

Doctor Who needed my help to save the human race and a dalek exterminated it just before I re-entered the TARDIS.

It spontaneously combusted and vaporized.

The FBI confiscated it because they claimed it was vital evidence.

I was pet-sitting Mike Tyson’s tiger and it escaped from my bathroom and ate my homework.

I gave it to a homeless man to help him insulate his cardboard box.

Kanye West ripped it up because he thought Beyonce’s homework was better.

Katie Holmes mistook it for one of her divorce papers and signed a hole right through it.

My little sister wanted to prove she could shoot an arrow as well as Katniss Everdeen and decided to use my homework as the target.

My pen ran out of ink so I decided to go buy another one. I got lost on the way back and was eventually taken home by a tourist who fortunately had a map. When I tried the pen though, it was a dud and I couldn’t go buy another one or I would probably never get home.

I found the assignment to be uninspiring, so I read a book about the life of Mother Teresa instead.

I got mugged on the way home.

We ran out of toilet paper last night…

My friend made a paper airplane out of it and it landed on the roof.

I went to London on vacation and the Queen threatened to cut off my head if I didn’t give her my homework.

My dad ripped it to shreds when Mitt Romney announced his vice presidential running mate.

I got soap in my eyes and went blind until just now.

I have a solar-powered calculator and it was cloudy.

I didn’t want to add to my teacher’s heavy workload.

Terrorists kidnapped me and they just let me go, so I didn’t have time to do it.

Usain Bolt sprinted past me, causing a sudden gust of wind that propelled the assignment from my hand.

V thought it was so well written, he decided to use it as propaganda for his revolution.

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